Before I saw the trailer for Red Riding Hood today, I only knew that Amanda Seyfried is in the upcoming film. I don’t really care about her either way, so that wasn’t a deal breaker. The real deal breaker was discovering who’s directing it: Catherine Hardwicke. If you don’t recognize the name, she directed Twilight, which was easily the worst of the Twilight films from a directorial point of view (please don’t ask me to choose which part of the “saga” is worst overall). You can understand why my expectation for the movie sunk instantly.

Now, let’s see:
-Pale girl and pale boyfriend wander listlessly in a misty forrest.
-Boyfriend tells girl that he’s dangerous and she should stay away from him, but she doesn’t listen.
-Other boy tells girl that said boyfriend is no good and he’d be better for her.
-Monster going around eating people.
-Werewolves.

Need any more proof that this is just sucking on the sore teat that is the Twilight series? Compare this smirky guy with stupid hair:

With THIS smirky guy with stupid hair:

Need I say more?

The only two things that could possibly save this are 1). Gary “Sirius Black/Commissioner Gordon” Oldman playing the antagonist and 2). Unlike Twilight, Red’s love interest doesn’t seem afraid of getting some lovin’ from his lady. On the other hand, Catherine Hardwicke.

Who’s afraid? Well me, but more in a “Why, God, why?” sort of way.